script 3

starting point of this session: 11:00h
i am starting with a technical problem. the first transscript of my attempt to find my way into the space and content of this conversation is lost. i forgott to save the text. now it has disappeared and since nobody saw what i wrote or followed my thoughts, there is no chance to get back to the point where i was. however, one topic was that i am trying to follow this written conversation that i am witnessing - and that is strangely taking place in the same room but can be observed out of a medially transmitted distance only. i feel a certain relief not having to talk or participate. one advantage seems that me pausing when i don't have anything to say doesn't embarrass the situation and conversation. thus, i could be very relaxed. i am a still a bit lost though. trying to follow an exchange of short phrases of which the sense and context yet says unclear. i seem to witness some sort of conversation. but at the same time, i am refering only to text bits and pieces, quotes and rather fragmented thoughts.
maybe simply observing this process helps clearing the situation/setting, helps understanding it and finally enables me to take part or at least contribute something substantial. i have to be patient! i am starting to discover that the conversation turns around a few key words like: space, room, gesture, writing, script, text, approaching, appropriation and specters.
i picked up a quote from the conversation: "The specter is not simply someone we see coming back, it is someone by whom we feel ourselves watched, observed, surveyed, as if by the law: we are “before the law,” without any possible symmetry, without reciprocity, insofar as the other is watching only us, concerns only us, we who are observing it (in the same way that someone observes and respects the law) without even being able to meet its gaze."
i don't feel watched at all... maybe that's the alienating, at least unfamiliar aspect of being here.
what changes when we are transforming gestures of spoken language into a script like this? what changes when we are forced to write down what we want to say in order to express ourselves and communicate with others - without having access to their facial gestures and body language. what changes when we receive a text as a response to what we are doing?
at this point, i am experiencing the slowness of the technical procedure that links me to the writing process i am to observe. the connection seems to be slow sometimes.
ok! kafka is the topic of this moment... - and with this, new key words come up: stage, frame, gesture (again), indistinction and indistinguishability.